Starbucks is bleeding coffee.
Scored myself one of these iced coffees this morning. Presented my free coffee card to the Starbucks representative behind the register and was greeted with a free iced coffee. Sure it came after a little uninspiring banter about how they only have one type of iced coffee rather than the bold or mild versions of regular hot coffee. (Can’t they just ice anything?)
Okay. I just read online and heard on the radio this morning that Starbucks is closing 600 stores due to underperformance. Maybe the folks at their registers should try to upsell the people cashing in on the free brewed coffee.
I didn’t get offered a slice of lemon cake. Or a cookie. Or a CD. Or some wireless internet. Just a slight grimace when I asked what kind of coffee came iced since I’d asked for bold, and was told there was only one kind iced.
What I find shocking, is that I don’t feel immensely inspired to go back to Starbucks to get even my free coffee. Hey Starbucks. I don’t want free coffee. What’s wrong with that?